Reid5

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Reid5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10869
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Reid5's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 2:05am<b>gashintheattic</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 4:37am

Reid5's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Reid5's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

by amiadori / 05/01/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML

by Nick / 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

by eaa145 / 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

by MrCanoe / 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

by Originality18 / 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

by manda / 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

by RollieCollieUSA / 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

by john / 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

by none / 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous