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Reid5

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Reid5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6159
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Reid5's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 2:05am<b>gashintheattic</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 4:37am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Reid5's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13764) - you deserved it (69161)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47920) - you deserved it (13776)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML

#14954069
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (7714)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:31am - work - by jobless - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43294) - you deserved it (7935)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (11808)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43951) - you deserved it (2996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (19929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

#14560893
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (3291)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:42pm - kids - by tatortot7707 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49093) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14138) - you deserved it (21913)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58102) - you deserved it (10582)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (27710)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40251) - you deserved it (12150)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. I was really excited until he asked, "Can we go halfsies on the ring?" FML

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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