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Reid5

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Reid5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6129
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Reid5's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 2:05am<b>gashintheattic</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 4:37am

Reid5's FML badges

50 favourites

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Reid5's favorite FMLs

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

#17554659
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (7701)

On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

#17539205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (2950)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38032) - you deserved it (14331)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39350) - you deserved it (4251)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

#16970431
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (3429)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (57883)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

#16395654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (5605)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46416) - you deserved it (8925)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33163) - you deserved it (14655)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (6550)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (6550)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

#15870372
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (11689)

On 04/21/2011 at 5:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49807) - you deserved it (8077)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

#15804497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (4231)

On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (9502)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States



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