something for me to know, and for you guys not to find out
so better luck next time :P
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4828) - you totally deserved it (33992)
On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7612) - you totally deserved it (30014)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5501) - you totally deserved it (24867)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by firefighter (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13272) - you totally deserved it (19038)
On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you totally deserved it (23484)
On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you totally deserved it (7262)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you totally deserved it (16227)
On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was getting a haircut. I had my foils in for about 10 minutes when the fire alarm went off. The building then started to fill with smoke and we evacuated. While outside watching the fire being put out, I forgot about my foils. I now have bright bleached yellow and orange hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27861) - you totally deserved it (3297)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:12am - misc - by 1danzo1 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
I agree, your life sucks (7188) - you totally deserved it (38531)
On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you totally deserved it (5213)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you totally deserved it (16218)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32395) - you totally deserved it (3678)
On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you totally deserved it (4982)
On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you totally deserved it (2321)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35385) - you totally deserved it (6565)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
