About Reaper5639 : Very chilled, always make the people laugh around me. Bad temper, no patience but I am a nice guy. Hobbies are: Working with my hands, boxing, gaming, chilling out with the boys and I love working on my car. Oh and I am a South African and I speak english and afrikaans.
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Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14521) - you deserved it (28107)
On 03/07/2011 at 4:38pm - money - by booooo (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (4697)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
I agree, your life sucks (10956) - you deserved it (36941)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8647) - you deserved it (28651)
On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States
Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you deserved it (2048)
On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -
Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (4391)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (8153)
On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -
Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (3305)
On 03/06/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by pinchy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41455) - you deserved it (3020)
On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75033) - you deserved it (10604)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462304) - you deserved it (574253)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178360) - you deserved it (61522)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178360) - you deserved it (61522)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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