About Reaper5639 : Very chilled, always make the people laugh around me. Bad temper, no patience but I am a nice guy. Hobbies are: Working with my hands, boxing, gaming, chilling out with the boys and I love working on my car. Oh and I am a South African and I speak english and afrikaans.
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Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42652) - you deserved it (2621)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22536) - you deserved it (3167)
On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (6254)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm - misc - by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (4599)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (2935)
On 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm - intimacy - by jimmy - United Kingdom (London)
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10614) - you deserved it (50519)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20613) - you deserved it (4066)
On 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by parkingisawesome - United States
Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20288) - you deserved it (20180)
On 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9370) - you deserved it (38052)
On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (3399)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36014) - you deserved it (5953)
On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40554) - you deserved it (8169)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (2821)
On 03/10/2011 at 8:17am - misc - by hackling fellow -
Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (6859)
On 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm - health - by caqi33 - United States
Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (2242)
On 03/08/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by ToxicSuicide (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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