About Reaper5639 : I'm very chilled, always make the people laugh around me. I'm sarcastic, my temper is always on a short fuse, but I'm a nice guy. Hobbies are: anything physical and outdoorsy, boxing, gaming, catching up with old friends and I love working on my car. I'm a South African and I speak English and Afrikaans (it's a dialect from Dutch), I have a girlfriend and we have been with each other now for 7 years, she is my high-school sweetheart.
Reaper5639's FML badges
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
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You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Reaper5639's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
by shitless88 / 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho / 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love
by jimmy / 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
by Anon / 05/07/2011 at 2:08am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Intimacy
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
by parkingisawesome / 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm / United States / Transportation
by Blondie / 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Health
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
by gymgirl / 05/05/2011 at 9:47am / Hong Kong / Health
by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by woah / 05/04/2011 at 7:51am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by hackling fellow / 03/10/2011 at 8:17am / Miscellaneous
by caqi33 / 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm / United States / Health
by ToxicSuicide / 03/08/2011 at 1:47am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…