About Reaper5639 : Very chilled, always make the people laugh around me. Bad temper, no patience but I am a nice guy. Hobbies are: Working with my hands, boxing, gaming, chilling out with the boys and I love working on my car. Oh and I am a South African and I speak english and afrikaans.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (4247)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9822) - you deserved it (28455)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25738) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (22145)
On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5591) - you deserved it (44928)
On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (2002)
On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9694) - you deserved it (35968)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9694) - you deserved it (35968)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49702) - you deserved it (5248)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (1456)
On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (1633)
On 08/20/2011 at 5:20am - love - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (3460)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52066) - you deserved it (2574)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (3321)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8311) - you deserved it (51663)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
