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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (2946)
On 07/08/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by ug (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (44679)
On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, during my shift at the restaurant, my boss's daugher came in. I could not help but notice she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her mother, my boss took me aside and said "my daugher's got eyes, you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9158) - you deserved it (42665)
On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56522) - you deserved it (2677)
On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45101) - you deserved it (5036)
On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37534) - you deserved it (2187)
On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (4762)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (29954)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39112) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49482) - you deserved it (1937)
On 07/04/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by hangup (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (9517)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32646) - you deserved it (2329)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7 year olds cry and it wasn't them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6802) - you deserved it (36871)
On 07/03/2009 at 11:04pm - work - by Missa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the 8th grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57159) - you deserved it (13718)
On 07/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58472) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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