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Razzmatazz

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Razzmatazz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3614
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

#4430564
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (14002)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61314) - you deserved it (8156)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53355) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

#4421070
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (2815)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Ghana (Volta)

Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML

#4418017
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (18182)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:25am - animals - by Entheatus (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

#4412595
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10653) - you deserved it (60461)

On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

#4408300
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59467) - you deserved it (31756)

On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (2915)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my boyfriends mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML

#4407478
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38116) - you deserved it (6672)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16334) - you deserved it (31557)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

#4405336
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84256) - you deserved it (6089)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62832) - you deserved it (11206)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (34781)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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