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Ray098's FML badges
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Ray098's favorite FMLs
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
by mateyouremental / 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by HomelessGirl1 / 05/21/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Teenagegirl / 03/26/2012 at 12:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML
by Ashton Sprunger / 12/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States / Work
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
by notgoodenough / 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by derbyboy / 10/19/2011 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Work
by mommydearist / 10/19/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work
Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML
by Soopa-Genius / 09/22/2011 at 8:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
by sisi9999 / 07/25/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Health
- Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in… Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end… Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I…