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Ray098

Offline (the 08/07/2014 at 6:14pm) | Search for a member

Ray098

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 863
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ray098's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Ray098's badges

Ray098's favorite FMLs

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56734) - you deserved it (12725)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74972) - you deserved it (9076)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79478) - you deserved it (4083)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36538) - you deserved it (5010)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

#20615694
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69540) - you deserved it (9186)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55242) - you deserved it (3693)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

#20609406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (42119)

On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47593) - you deserved it (20995)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42495) - you deserved it (3979)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

#20602636
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (46356)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68454) - you deserved it (10877)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51947) - you deserved it (17654)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (14096)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (8009)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States



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