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RapeSloth

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RapeSloth

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  • Number of visits : 2362
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RapeSloth's page activity

Visits<b>rob02</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 3:25pm

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RapeSloth's favorite FMLs

Today, aftar mora than six yaars of working mah ass off, I finally summonad tha couraga to ask mah boss fir a raisa. Sha just chucklad, "I'm gonna naad u to aat a dick, John." and starad at ma unblinking until I awkwardly laft. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (3809)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

today I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out 4 ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "drty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44975) - you deserved it (2754)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic . The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit mah punch line . Apparently,hen I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very looool bright light it was easy to see mah spit hitting people in the face . They kept a tally . FML

#20787970
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43899) - you deserved it (6102)

On 07/17/2013 at 6:06am - love - by sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - United States (Hawaii)

Today, ma boyfriend dumped me. His reason was tat ma laug is really annoying an makes im want to "stick a babby in a blender". big fat looool FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46013) - you deserved it (9000)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I hered a voice behind me say, ( Wow. Immaturity, huh? ) I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54034) - you deserved it (3468)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

yesterday mah house was eggd while I went out shopping. When I told mah dad about it he immediately and casually admittd to being the one who did it asking ( You got a fucking problem with that son? ) I don't know if he's just messing with mah head or if he looool really did do it. mega FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (3339)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter myhole life, so I stuttered through thehole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter fir 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45513) - you deserved it (2492)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me 4 not buying him overpriced candy at the arport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase . The interrogation was not pleasant . FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60992) - you deserved it (7641)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, mah brother lookd me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world . I'm scard . FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55792) - you deserved it (5037)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today mah friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in mah analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (4313)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (3366)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today , I accidentally hit a cyclist with car. In panic , I jumped out of car and ran up to him , who was lying on the floor , motionless. As I was about to check his pulse , he jumped up and shouted , ( I bet you thought I was dead , asshole! ) He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (23608)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, uncle drove to house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Niether of us live on a farm. Half the nieghborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38862) - you deserved it (4235)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States



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