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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Random_Idiot

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Random_Idiot
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 14361
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Random_Idiot : people suck...

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Random_Idiot's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (5016)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657 (766)

I agree, your life sucks (66992) - you deserved it (13617)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (43219) - you deserved it (2651)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64284) - you deserved it (3601)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (64134) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that my fiance had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (54203) - you deserved it (1921)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (65239) - you deserved it (16026)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (59382) - you deserved it (6145)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293 (340)

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (54107)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

#2569005 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (51601) - you deserved it (3507)

On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

#2562332 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (39891) - you deserved it (12608)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (40980)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485 (423)

I agree, your life sucks (51824) - you deserved it (3955)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (72706) - you deserved it (5140)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (15832)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)