About RandomSlapper : I am a huge Queen fan. I am also a secret pokemon-training ninja. That listens to Queen. Oh, and I'm 13. What have you accomplished?
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RandomSlapper's favorite FMLs
Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML
by NZgirl92 / 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
by bntje / 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Miscellaneous
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Juliet / 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm / United States (California) / Love
by InNeedOfFriends / 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
by slightlyworried / 04/05/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by torturedears / 04/05/2013 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML
by BrillianceSucks / 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm / Canada / Work
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…