About RagingWill : Parkour is half my life. Started college at 16 but don't be fooled; I'm a moron. Games and books are the way to my heart, although knives and bullets work too.
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RagingWill's favorite FMLs
by whateven333 / 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
by ashamed / 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML
by jazzie7719 / 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2013 at 6:39am / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML
by vanity113 / 06/13/2013 at 12:04am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Transportation
by ChangMu / 05/01/2013 at 2:40am / United States (Iowa) / Health
Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML
by Stevski / 09/11/2012 at 11:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Can't Win / 09/09/2012 at 11:01am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
by Baustigt / 03/28/2012 at 7:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…