RNorthlandLGB

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RNorthlandLGB

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 45991
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About RNorthlandLGB : boom, roasted.

RNorthlandLGB's page activity

Visits<b>SDJM666</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:59pm<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:07am<b>dcs00</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:19pm<b>Alienfran</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:54am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:39pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:45am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:32pm<b>thisnameissecret</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:33pm<b>leigh148</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:47pm<b>perfect101</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 8:52pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:20pm<b>Sakura13</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 8:12am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:47am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 8:05pm<b>aguar88</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 10:57pm<b>flygirlnene</b> - the 08/25/2009 at 6:41pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 08/15/2009 at 12:23pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:39pm<b>thisnameissecret</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:08am

RNorthlandLGB's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RNorthlandLGB's favorite FMLs

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

by Masonlee89 / 11/20/2009 at 10:59pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 2:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

by webperson04 / 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

by mobster / 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

by pissingcontest / 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

by pissingcontest / 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

by pissingcontest / 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy