About QTp13 : I shall not bore you with the plight of my everyday life.
If you would like to know anything, please do not hesitate to PM me. I will respond.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40292) - you deserved it (14075)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52432) - you deserved it (3651)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I puked up a centipede. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44938) - you deserved it (5743)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:59am - health - by vaalcrawford - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (4821)
On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (7552)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (6590)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (6046)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)
Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9775) - you deserved it (9220)
On 03/04/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by J-Ro - United States
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (7454)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21900) - you deserved it (4332)
On 02/28/2010 at 9:26am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (11583)
On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14062) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (15713)
On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (6538)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5309) - you deserved it (30526)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
