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QJDynamite

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QJDynamite
  • Town/Country : Normal, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 844
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About QJDynamite : Love FML, should have made an account years ago!

QJDynamite's last visitors

michaelm1290pillowcasesns1985

QJDynamite's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of QJDynamite's badges

QJDynamite's favorite FMLs

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44828) - you deserved it (2854)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47075) - you deserved it (7757)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44788) - you deserved it (5930)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51331) - you deserved it (7336)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53841) - you deserved it (6631)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

#20606348
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (13773)

On 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (5839)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

#20602988
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40692) - you deserved it (12167)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (2639)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

#20599573
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (8734)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45378) - you deserved it (8678)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (6990)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56563) - you deserved it (4644)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63765) - you deserved it (6817)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)



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