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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59826) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (3509)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (27032)
On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7767) - you deserved it (30758)
On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57382) - you deserved it (4262)
On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44258) - you deserved it (6223)
On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (7540)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (16872)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (8239)
On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (3411)
On 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm - animals - by freylero - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17460) - you deserved it (10278)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31904) - you deserved it (3791)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50624) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8207) - you deserved it (43883)
On 08/09/2009 at 8:43am - love - by hugedissapointment (man) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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