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About Purplex3 : Purple♥
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9196) - you deserved it (70179)
On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45114) - you deserved it (2946)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121989) - you deserved it (29421)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51241) - you deserved it (11662)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (3857)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39656) - you deserved it (14419)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8625) - you deserved it (38220)
On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12049) - you deserved it (36507)
On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (50413) - you deserved it (17977)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44541) - you deserved it (7977)
On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (4274)
On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (1821)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41813) - you deserved it (2760)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I ordered a graduation cake from a woman at the grocery store. She asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I said "Congratulations Annie". Then she asked me who was ordering and I said "Annie". I had to order my own cake. The woman was silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (4536)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Annebelle (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancée, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancée for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (218254) - you deserved it (8535)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
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