PurplePoet

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Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 12:03am)

PurplePoet

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1936
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PurplePoet : I like to eat food and stuff. =]

PurplePoet's page activity

Visits<b>tweak2011</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:21am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:24am<b>Buck_Foy</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:40am<b>facelick</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:53pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:51am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:42pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:01am<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:47am<b>duchi425</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 1:04am<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 10:30pm<b>3hotgun333</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:56am<b>zzzaman</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:19pm<b>Randy84</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:04pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Selki</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 6:39pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 6:49am<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:04pm

Fucked!<b>tweak2011</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 6:22am

PurplePoet's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of PurplePoet's badges

PurplePoet's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2009 at 12:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

by Jon / 06/07/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

by lovewedge / 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy