[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

PurplePoet

Search for a member

PurplePoet
  • Town/Country : Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, United States Of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 January 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 526
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PurplePoet : I like to eat food and stuff. =]

PurplePoet's last visitors

Freezeaardvarkishallmidnighteyesjetpackzachlilauer13ripjohnlennonRedPillSucksCoachLlamaLorysaillmatic2

PurplePoet's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

PurplePoet's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (4894)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

#8532673 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (4653) - you deserved it (16997)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (15613) - you deserved it (3545)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (3863) - you deserved it (37764)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

#7453024 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (4775) - you deserved it (12476)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by Tattooed_Blonde - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (17379) - you deserved it (3398)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

#7222558 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (5414) - you deserved it (13118)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by awskme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

#7211272 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

#6824662 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (18766) - you deserved it (3070)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (2035)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (8712) - you deserved it (17688)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (5499) - you deserved it (17606)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (2296)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)