PurplePoet

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Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 12:03am)

PurplePoet

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 January 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1940
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PurplePoet : I like to eat food and stuff. =]

PurplePoet's page activity

Visits<b>tweak2011</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:21am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:24am<b>Buck_Foy</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:40am<b>facelick</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:53pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:51am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:42pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:01am<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:47am<b>duchi425</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 1:04am<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 10:30pm<b>3hotgun333</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:56am<b>zzzaman</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:19pm<b>Randy84</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:04pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Selki</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 6:39pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 6:49am<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:04pm

Fucked!<b>tweak2011</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 6:22am

PurplePoet's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of PurplePoet's badges

PurplePoet's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

by Rafiki / 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

by MackeyBoy / 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

by Tattooed_Blonde / 01/20/2010 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

by ilovesocks / 01/20/2010 at 1:17am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

by awskme / 01/08/2010 at 7:36pm / Intimacy

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

by Madagascar / 12/19/2009 at 5:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

by SeeMeInTheDark / 12/07/2009 at 3:54am / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

by Nick / 11/27/2009 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

by crazylobster / 11/14/2009 at 11:52am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

by JohnB / 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy