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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77433) - you deserved it (2166)
On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by redbluegreen (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (10236)
On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (50644) - you deserved it (1514)
On 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm - work - by lover21 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44779) - you deserved it (9085)
On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (64652) - you deserved it (17316)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60072) - you deserved it (5967)
On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad texted me and told me "I love u." I answer back with "I love you too dad...are you drunk?" and he answers back "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54904) - you deserved it (3368)
On 05/06/2009 at 6:04pm - love - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (23503)
On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (2359)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54537) - you deserved it (7202)
On 05/05/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by penisface69 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14351) - you deserved it (44105)
On 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended he loudly complained to his friends about the annoying girl sitting next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5124) - you deserved it (67650)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by anon (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20653) - you deserved it (53770)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (51953)
On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33282) - you deserved it (19168)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:37am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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