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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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PurpleBear

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PurpleBear
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About PurpleBear : I'm a pretty happy and excited person.

PurpleBear's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PurpleBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

#6804423 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (6676)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (2919)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (1685)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (8885) - you deserved it (16246)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8628) - you deserved it (31914)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

#6792186 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (4579) - you deserved it (21598)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by owmyballs - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (15881) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

#6789121 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (3866)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

#6787921 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (2887)

On 12/17/2009 at 1:09am - animals - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

#6783390 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (1661)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by Frauded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

#6779771 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (19106)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

#6779540 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (4252)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a mother & son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

#6779433 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (1412)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:43pm - work - by Andy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (44376) - you deserved it (1541)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)