PureGold

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PureGold

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 341377
  • Number of comments : 484
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About PureGold : Hey people of FML!!
Instead of going out and doing something about the fact that I'm 18 and HAVE NO LIFE, I'm here on FML. And therein lies the problem. (But I haven't visited the site as many times as my profile says...that's kind of weird.)

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

PureGold's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:29pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:14pm<b>zombers2234</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:31am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 2:34pm<b>roman11</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:08pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 5:39pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:22pm<b>marier00</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:22pm<b>gregjasper</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:15am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:31pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:11pm<b>inthehidden</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:30pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 9:35am<b>kodman101</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:30pm<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:40pm<b>Loyalteez</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:32am<b>kiwi15499</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 5:59am

Fucked!<b>marier00</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:22pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:32pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 11:59am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:28am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:54am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:57pm

PureGold's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PureGold's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

by fmal / 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

by twoheadedboy / 05/06/2009 at 4:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

by Jay / 05/06/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

by Jay / 05/06/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

by Jay / 05/06/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

by Jay / 05/06/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

by Jay / 05/06/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

by apparentlyugly / 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

by poopedon / 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

by avanti / 04/24/2009 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

by pinkblankets / 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (Indiana) / Work