About PumpkinTarte : How can you tell the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46709) - you deserved it (12012)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (31436)
On 08/29/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by deven (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41487) - you deserved it (1981)
On 08/29/2009 at 8:13am - misc - by Jonnyboo (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66853) - you deserved it (2416)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14685) - you deserved it (34379)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7060) - you deserved it (40869)
On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10728) - you deserved it (44724)
On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52100) - you deserved it (3397)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (2781)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52606) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51495) - you deserved it (2969)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41883) - you deserved it (15296)
On 08/10/2009 at 12:25am - animals - by Entheatus (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40621) - you deserved it (14284)
On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (5665)
On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32448) - you deserved it (3190)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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