About PumpkinTarte : How can you tell the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7398) - you deserved it (21659)
On 12/03/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by Sassers (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (6310)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61704) - you deserved it (9229)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30928) - you deserved it (1915)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8056) - you deserved it (3204)
On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (5319)
On 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (3904)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39607) - you deserved it (3778)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36605) - you deserved it (5279)
On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4742) - you deserved it (25798)
On 10/30/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by Coach (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9315) - you deserved it (59703)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (3660)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9607) - you deserved it (38832)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (9914)
On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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