Everybody's gonna make it to the cemetery..
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain “obscene or offensive language or phrases”. What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you totally deserved it (1043)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16767) - you totally deserved it (1433)
On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you totally deserved it (4530)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14583) - you totally deserved it (9194)
On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5549) - you totally deserved it (16114)
On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you totally deserved it (4104)
On 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you totally deserved it (2835)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a milkbone commerical came on TV. At the end of the commercial, they whistle and throw a milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100 lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and pummel my brand new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25897) - you totally deserved it (2142)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you totally deserved it (3364)
On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3299) - you totally deserved it (19849)
On 10/30/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by Coach (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6018) - you totally deserved it (37831)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son's teacher tells me that I should take my son to the doctor because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They run some tests and after twenty minutes she tells me something is blocking his sinus. Out comes a peanut that's been lodged in his nose for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18260) - you totally deserved it (2696)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6292) - you totally deserved it (24764)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19032) - you totally deserved it (6615)
On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you totally deserved it (18143)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by Kimberly - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
