Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PumpkinTarte

Search for a member

PumpkinTarte

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3111
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About PumpkinTarte : How can you tell the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

PumpkinTarte's page activity

Visits<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:38pm<b>ImAustinmane</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:11am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:46pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:59am<b>jackxuanliu</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:36pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:06pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:59am<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:46am<b>Shadzky</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:24pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:49am<b>joe2552halo</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:48pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:24am<b>IrishKelp</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:23pm<b>larrena2377</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:28am<b>erinblackk</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:42pm

PumpkinTarte's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PumpkinTarte's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (5698)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9385) - you deserved it (60179)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (4268)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my noise-canceling headphones on and a girl sitting next to me raised her glass at me. I thought she meant "cheers". So I did a "cheers" with her. When I drank my juice, it was only then did I realize that she was trying to tell me the flight attendant had mixed up our drinks. FML

#7024040
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you deserved it (22299)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by lala456 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (2383)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (6911)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12203) - you deserved it (25292)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

#6831944
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7668) - you deserved it (35802)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12445) - you deserved it (23802)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29508) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8846) - you deserved it (57246)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (26563)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (2680)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

#6585612
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9479) - you deserved it (29943)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by Sassers (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: