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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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PumpkinTarte

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PumpkinTarte
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 June 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1968
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About PumpkinTarte : How can you tell the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

PumpkinTarte's last visitors

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PumpkinTarte's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PumpkinTarte's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (2001)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (17885) - you deserved it (4070)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (42761)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my noise-canceling headphones on and a girl sitting next to me raised her glass at me. I thought she meant "cheers". So I did a "cheers" with her. When I drank my juice, it was only then did I realize that she was trying to tell me the flight attendant had mixed up our drinks. FML

#7024040 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (4447) - you deserved it (13934)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by lala456 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (1577)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (5105)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (8979) - you deserved it (17347)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

#6831944 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (5150) - you deserved it (24090)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my job as a middle school teacher. Why? I told an 8th grader that Santa Claus wasn't real. He cried and told my boss. FML

#6812766 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (8062)

On 12/18/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Firedfor..... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (16246)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (22199) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (6430) - you deserved it (42219)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (6768) - you deserved it (17924)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (1852)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)