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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11141) - you deserved it (30647)
On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (6445)
On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52722) - you deserved it (1606)
On 07/01/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by lawoman27 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49116) - you deserved it (6971)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dog ate my little brothers medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31928) - you deserved it (6703)
On 06/30/2009 at 2:07am - animals - by glowstick (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (34272)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4666) - you deserved it (51190)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49779) - you deserved it (17200)
On 06/28/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by resipsahipsta (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58482) - you deserved it (7988)
On 06/28/2009 at 12:05pm - love - by honeymoonisover (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (78375) - you deserved it (4702)
On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands
Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (45979)
On 06/28/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by lifedamntough (woman) - Singapore
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9084) - you deserved it (38504)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (5508)
On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (40388) - you deserved it (2845)
On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (3845)
On 06/27/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Acneface - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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