About Prolusive : ROFLAMPUDOR!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (19914)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (3109)
On 09/25/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Eric Moore - United States (Texas)
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (27352)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (3561)
On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60893) - you deserved it (7586)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (4571)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (5827)
On 10/09/2010 at 5:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (5827)
On 10/09/2010 at 5:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (3030)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (3030)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27936) - you deserved it (3959)
On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38810) - you deserved it (570981)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (197863)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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