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Porcei

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Porcei

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4240
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Porcei : I am no longer entertained.

Porcei's page activity

Visits<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:45pm<b>XcRunner72</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:11am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:04pm<b>AmbienDreams</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 11:19pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:02pm<b>nela25</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 1:36am<b>Moota</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:31pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 5:32am<b>Dodopy</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:31am<b>siddp</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 10:02pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:43am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 9:11am<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 2:26am<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 1:11am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:05pm<b>sallee23444</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:58am<b>harp</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 9:28pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 11:17am

Porcei's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Porcei's badges

Porcei's favorite FMLs

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (3072)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36420) - you deserved it (4456)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50891) - you deserved it (5720)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32435) - you deserved it (4847)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47352) - you deserved it (22744)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (3438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41319) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst into hysterical laughter behind me. FML

#20817313
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49605) - you deserved it (8404)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (7607)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (64233)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56706) - you deserved it (4037)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (1551)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (3422)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (4031)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28912) - you deserved it (3294)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)



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