Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Porcei

Search for a member

Porcei
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 842
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Porcei : Allo. I'm Porcei. I can't say that it's nice to meet you because you haven't introduced yourself yet. So feel free to do that. My replies will probably be slow.. Oh well.

Quick note: I'm blunt and I rarely pity the posters here. If you don't like a comment that I've posted then express your opinion about it in a response or a PM. Thank you

Porcei's last visitors

carleybeakDeidaraAkatsukiWizardoEl_MojiiitoKandi_NekoMollieBalzaryarmy_of_misfitsDont4GetMethardakkemosabe4201erichsalvesenaa1717

Porcei's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Porcei's badges

Porcei's favorite FMLs

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (5871)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (3693)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (11537)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (7865)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (2485)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36596) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45920) - you deserved it (3095)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (9779)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44190) - you deserved it (2277)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31633) - you deserved it (1943)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (2315)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (16870)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (2630)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44303) - you deserved it (4244)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: