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The Thumb strikes back
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Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19180) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (7785)
On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32721) - you deserved it (11390)
On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (1963)
On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34674) - you deserved it (5640)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (15043)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56282) - you deserved it (5958)
On 07/27/2009 at 4:12am - love - by DAMMit (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54159) - you deserved it (5262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35836) - you deserved it (3495)
On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (5124)
On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (4897)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5273) - you deserved it (29182)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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