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The Thumb strikes back
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Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14723) - you deserved it (3776)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15192) - you deserved it (4765)
On 08/17/2012 at 12:08am - love - by SquishFish - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16613) - you deserved it (2312)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21357) - you deserved it (4928)
On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (1537)
On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15741) - you deserved it (2006)
On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4981) - you deserved it (45359)
On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18017) - you deserved it (1679)
On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (1729)
On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8187) - you deserved it (17830)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16543) - you deserved it (2157)
On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15795) - you deserved it (26163)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8981) - you deserved it (12941)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4670) - you deserved it (63471)
On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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