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Ponecake

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Ponecake
  • Town/Country : Columbus, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 April 1977 (37 years)
  • Number of visits : 1201
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ponecake's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43583) - you deserved it (4522)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36017) - you deserved it (2250)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (1782)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (6484)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (2315)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (3457)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21653) - you deserved it (4271)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (25636)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (5277)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26166) - you deserved it (2174)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (2535)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18758) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (2136)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (2002)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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