PoisonedLiquor

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Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 2:50am)

PoisonedLiquor

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2135
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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PoisonedLiquor's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:18pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 7:23pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:40pm<b>lysx84</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 4:34am<b>cat_womanz</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:09am<b>mwali02</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:02am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 4:27pm<b>OnlyTheDarkest</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:51am<b>TheDrifter</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:15am<b>jst219</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:14am<b>jennnfdsjk</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:27am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 4:20pm<b>ProLife</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:22pm<b>MTLATP</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:12am<b>DJ_Lyons</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:55pm<b>tarv</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:11pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:08am<b>usernameunkn0wn</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:02pm

PoisonedLiquor's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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PoisonedLiquor's favorite FMLs

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

by IBS / 05/06/2014 at 5:11am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

by KennyJF7 / 03/14/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

by xtinasky1 / 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

by anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm / United States / Health

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

by australian6196 / 02/04/2014 at 9:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

by CUNTCUNTCUNT / 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids