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PoisonedLiquor

Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 2:50am) | Search for a member

PoisonedLiquor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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PoisonedLiquor's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:18pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 7:23pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:40pm<b>lysx84</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 4:34am<b>cat_womanz</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:09am<b>mwali02</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:02am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 4:27pm<b>OnlyTheDarkest</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:51am<b>TheDrifter</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:15am<b>jst219</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:14am<b>jennnfdsjk</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:27am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 4:20pm<b>ProLife</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:22pm<b>MTLATP</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:12am<b>DJ_Lyons</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:55pm<b>tarv</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:11pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:08am<b>usernameunkn0wn</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:02pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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PoisonedLiquor's favorite FMLs

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

#21132154
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46183) - you deserved it (11503)

On 05/06/2014 at 5:11am - misc - by IBS (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48734) - you deserved it (16299)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42066) - you deserved it (21855)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35925) - you deserved it (40408)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54605) - you deserved it (6722)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (8220)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49853) - you deserved it (6246)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49056) - you deserved it (21588)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50737) - you deserved it (5476)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44220) - you deserved it (6843)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52018) - you deserved it (16569)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44665) - you deserved it (9239)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)



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