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Pluiscyam's FML badges
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Pluiscyam's favorite FMLs
by yooitscallo / 08/22/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
by DrunkParents / 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Montana) / Work
by uhoh.. / 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
by thecarisfine / 03/14/2015 at 12:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today". I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML
by minty / 03/13/2015 at 11:52pm / United States / Health
by awkward.. / 02/22/2015 at 12:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by bradix1186 / 02/21/2015 at 1:00pm / Philippines (North Cotabato) / Health
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love
by shitty situation / 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
by fired / 11/23/2010 at 8:41am / United States (Virginia) / Work
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…