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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Pleasure_Pirate

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Pleasure_Pirate
  • Town/Country : Narragansett, RI, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 August 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1108
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Pleasure_Pirate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926 (712)

I agree, your life sucks (7501) - you deserved it (43935)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML

#13241272 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (19265) - you deserved it (1407)

On 09/28/2010 at 9:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

#9645798 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (6897)

On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (4894)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (13518) - you deserved it (27178)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

#3713033 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (36158) - you deserved it (2601)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (45301) - you deserved it (4630)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (61859) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML

#498194 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (98765)

On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)