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PlaySpades

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PlaySpades
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2118
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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PlaySpades's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

#12835808
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (5781)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by ugly - United States

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39886) - you deserved it (4007)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15411) - you deserved it (58189)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (8964)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50291) - you deserved it (20662)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (8515)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (5505)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (9266)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7700) - you deserved it (25760)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (4523)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (3134)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

#6677293
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (4223)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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