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The Thumb strikes back
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (2783)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12832) - you deserved it (24590)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (1750)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States
Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (3792)
On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18941) - you deserved it (4868)
On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (6020)
On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (2157)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (26470)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34240) - you deserved it (2507)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (6110)
On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28510) - you deserved it (10414)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (17392)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26328) - you deserved it (2721)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (3106)
On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15255) - you deserved it (3043)
On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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