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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 September 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4904
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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PlaySpades's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (132414) - you deserved it (7814)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (103745) - you deserved it (9793)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML


I agree, your life sucks (107239) - you deserved it (26241)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46730) - you deserved it (204674)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29207) - you deserved it (39881)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55976) - you deserved it (3305)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (274617) - you deserved it (64737)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64266) - you deserved it (7262)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:31pm - love - by Kfeaaa (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45946) - you deserved it (10214)

On 02/23/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by hey-o (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML


I agree, your life sucks (12398) - you deserved it (130328)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17579) - you deserved it (72797)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

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