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Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (12021)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5323) - you deserved it (70278)
On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (10139)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47649) - you deserved it (6157)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31462) - you deserved it (5081)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (California)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (3809)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (22084)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (8828)
On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States
Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (2848)
On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (5371)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (7603)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (4010)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14812) - you deserved it (69529)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (9862)
On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (6325)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Monday 17 June 2013
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