About Pinkykay2000 : I love soup, olives, and writing.
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Why am I up so early?
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Pinkykay2000's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by smh / 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
by samaram / 06/04/2013 at 2:47am / United States / Health
Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML
by my_only_friend / 06/03/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by H1dd3n / 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML
by songbird062 / 06/01/2013 at 12:14pm / Love
Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
by speechless / 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Wirral) / Money
Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML
by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? / 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Kids
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
by :( / 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Health
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love
- Today, I found out my dad got married to someone my age. Also found out she might be pregnant, I am… Today, after only walking about 12 kilometres around town, compared to my usual 20, I decided that… Today, I went out to eat with my sister, her boyfriend and my two little sisters. it was a buffet.…