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Pink_n_Twizted

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Pink_n_Twizted

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  • Number of visits : 1895
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Pink_n_Twizted's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147564) - you deserved it (21610)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (73241)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66449) - you deserved it (21553)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

#137765
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44759) - you deserved it (5218)

On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143253) - you deserved it (11822)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (66204)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

#93676
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80998) - you deserved it (7348)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (53252)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50917) - you deserved it (20838)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML

#61161
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57116) - you deserved it (11614)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Dannylover (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232457) - you deserved it (81224)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (17971)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162347) - you deserved it (47417)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)



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