About Pingvinai : I'm a ferret wearing a hat. Nothing to see here. Drop a f*ck while you're at it, will ya?
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Pingvinai's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by Kimel / 01/21/2016 at 7:11pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
by aj513 / 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML
by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by Wlanla / 08/02/2015 at 7:39am / Romania (Bacau) / Kids
by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Ma_Nikka / 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…