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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (1896)
On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (4752)
On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (12273)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (2347)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6680) - you deserved it (17161)
On 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11064) - you deserved it (1891)
On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (3564)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my friend, her parents and I, drove 5 hours all the way to disneyworld, only to realize we had bought disneyland tickets. Disneyland is in California, 3000 miles away. We couldn't switch them out and we didn't have money to buy new ones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (36340)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (13065)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (3190)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10336) - you deserved it (36148)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (488503)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59316) - you deserved it (144005)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (58551) - you deserved it (5956)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72279) - you deserved it (13844)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
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