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PickeringJ1994's favorite FMLs
by SpLo0gIeR / 02/13/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
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- Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's… Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden… Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him…
- Today, in precalc class the kid behind me farted and everyone turned around. We all laughed at the… Today, in the middle of the night I went to bathroom. As I got up my bed my girlfriend was talking… Today, I went to Walmart with a friend of mine to buy some chips and drinks. As we were leaving the…