Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Phyre24

Offline (the 06/15/2014 at 1:12am) | Search for a member

Phyre24

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5495
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Phyre24 : I'm a Canadian. Watch NCIS. Bones and Burn Notice. Play CoD zombies, Halo, DayZ, Planetside 2 and AC. I'm very logical. I like reading the Drizzt series by R.A. Salvatore. Sherlock Holmes is my favourite detective of all time and I've read every single story.

Phyre24's page activity

Visits<b>JoshTheTacoMan</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:23am<b>mattjamt</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:42am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:21am<b>Thorzix</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:19am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Serquet70</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:33pm<b>chylew</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 5:35pm<b>weby11</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:09pm<b>venus89</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:34pm<b>tarv</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 9:45am<b>bambi1989</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 2:22pm<b>blackphoenix0010</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:41pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:07am<b>heyywassupp</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 6:58pm<b>wooley29</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:41pm<b>iceshard01</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 6:03pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 3:05am

Phyre24's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Phyre24's badges

Phyre24's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (2739)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (61480)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54733) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (4883)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46226) - you deserved it (6199)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53320) - you deserved it (6999)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43854) - you deserved it (13880)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43854) - you deserved it (13880)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47902) - you deserved it (23045)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47902) - you deserved it (23045)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47902) - you deserved it (23045)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (3617) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50276) - you deserved it (4392)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56069) - you deserved it (9306)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: