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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Phoenix_Eclipse

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Phoenix_Eclipse
  • Town/Country : Harrodsburg, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 August 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 3135
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Phoenix_Eclipse : Ugh. I hate my life. is there anything else I can say?
I'm a gay wiccan in the bible belt of Kentucky.
Life sucks.
Fuck off.

Phoenix_Eclipse's last visitors

ihatetaylor

Phoenix_Eclipse's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Phoenix_Eclipse's favorite FMLs

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (75032) - you deserved it (15504)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

#1316635 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (45191) - you deserved it (3273)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

#1316192 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (8464) - you deserved it (55689)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (37232) - you deserved it (3521)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (53381)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77387) - you deserved it (28873)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (61264) - you deserved it (19733)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (210143)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065 (606)

I agree, your life sucks (16780) - you deserved it (287092)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (10409) - you deserved it (162129)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (60557) - you deserved it (18847)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

#672131 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (45599) - you deserved it (18276)

On 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Betsydoll (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (13031) - you deserved it (173565)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (190098)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

#151604 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (35770) - you deserved it (10076)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)