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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15551) - you deserved it (15073)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boss made me some Tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my number 1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19608) - you deserved it (3731)
On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16278) - you deserved it (3349)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6629) - you deserved it (25021)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15944) - you deserved it (3066)
On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5135) - you deserved it (20456)
On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)
Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (4217)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13114) - you deserved it (1020)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found a video camera behind a plant in my bedroom. My husband uses it to video tape himself having sex, with another woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (1404)
On 09/23/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19660) - you deserved it (3512)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5003) - you deserved it (18330)
On 09/15/2009 at 4:13am - intimacy - by mybad7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (1512)
On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (5340)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10197) - you deserved it (40222)
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