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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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PhiThetaKappa

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PhiThetaKappa
  • Town/Country : Austin, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 March 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 441
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About PhiThetaKappa : Tigers hate pepper, they love cinnamon.

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PhiThetaKappa's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU". It really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (17277) - you deserved it (7686)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a mother & son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

#6779433 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (1413)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:43pm - work - by Andy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (44384) - you deserved it (1541)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

#6633448 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (8322)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm - kids - by Sadface (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lit some candles while waiting for my girlfriend to come over. I was trying to be romantic. Suddenly, I hear screaming from my bedroom. I run in thinking it was my girlfriend. Turns out my cat lit his whiskers on fire by sniffing the candles. FML

#6632857 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (20685) - you deserved it (3878)

On 12/06/2009 at 11:30am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311 (491)

I agree, your life sucks (12939) - you deserved it (53993)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

#6554102 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (28243) - you deserved it (7458)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (16981) - you deserved it (9629)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (1100)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (4490) - you deserved it (47674)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (12810) - you deserved it (21369)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7584) - you deserved it (33651)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (32705)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)